My speech is intermittently improving. Yesterday afternoon, 4:30ish, I was talking to Gail. During this conversation, two things were incredible. For starters, I was a wake and not in a coma nap! This is astounding!
While talking to Gail my voice went from slurring and long pauses between my words, to my healthy voice! I heard my voice, that old familiar sound from June of 2014. It sounded odd to me! I said, "Gail, my voice, my voice, my voice!" She was just as excited as I was. So she calls Natalie for me, and I said 'HELLO' to Natalie in my healthy non emmesseee voice. She recognized it instantly. As we all celebrated this success and as the minutes passed.
I felt it.
As if there was an invisible I.V. dripping into my body liquid lead and some MEGA inducing chronic fatigue creature sucking the life out of me. I felt my energy bar going from a 5 to a 1 to a disconnect. And I literally shut off. Out. Like someone took the batteries out of me and I could not do. How I breathed? I do not know? I was out. When I was able to, much later at dark time, I did a text message telling them both I was sorry for hanging up. But not why, they will read this, I know they will.
I could not talk. I could not put the words to my mouth, I could hear me in my head but I was fading fast. This actually happened to me on the set of a pilot, after 12 hours on set, n character. So I am not angry at myself. I am proud that I was on set for 12 hours! But it was frustrating for the Director. I have to compliment him for his genuine patience, because he had been on set for like 36 hours.
I felt ashamed of course, and then I was angry, because I was originally told that I would only be needed for 2 hours and yet I stayed an extra 10 hours! It is a learning experience for me, because I was paid for the 2 hours and not the 12 hours.
Back to -way phone conversation, Gail, Nat and I, speculated about the phenomenon. Was it the cooler weather? After all the high was only 91degrees yesterday. Was it the ''HBOT'' hyperbaric oxygen therapy? I have had two sessions now. And I have spent $450 dollars total for the two treatments. And I have 38 more sessions to do. Actually I have been told that it is a daily therapy like someone with diabetes and daily injections. So I will be buying my own portable Hbot Chamber, I hope ... Gofundme, right! Was it the collective of healing energy from my friends? Absolutely! I believe it is all of the above, cooler weather, Hbot, friends and Ionix Supreme. I am winning this.. it is not my first time to be knocked out after all. It is however, the first time for me to be so public and the first time for me to ask for help. FEAR of LOSS is the NUMBER ONE MOTIVATOR~ I heard this a decade ago from Dale Calvert in Kentucky. I have not ever feared anything more than the attacks I have had these last two months. Seriously scared me to act.
I'm not obscenely wealthy, I live paycheck to paycheck and sometimes there is no paycheck. I share this because I received a text message a few days ago that hurt me greatly. It hurt me because what they texted was a real fear of mine. "A hater is gonna hate" So I ask that hateful texter.
"Have you ever met me?'' I am not without feelings just because I am numb. And I wish you well.
I appreciate you 'all'
Matthew loves the cell phone ..
| Cell phone SELFIE with MATTHEW|
"If I get any more bags - I am going shopping"
"Zombies, something that eats your brain and makes you walk funny. Multiple Sclerosis, something that eats your brain and makes you walk funny."